Until Then



One day, you’ll meet a guy. And ultimately, his going to find out how you chew, how you sip,  how you dance, how you smell at every point of the day. The fact that most of your friends are shallow,  how your face looks underneath your make up, how much you loveee the vinegar lays, how you can be hyper at time, how certain games and songs make you happy,  how cranky you can get when your tired and hungry, how emotional you can get when your tipsy, how you cry every time you watch a romantic movie, he is going to know everything about you.  And you know what !

He is still going to love you for a thousand decades and you will love him for infinity years to come.

ONLY Then, it will hit you, it will hit you when you’re shopping for paper towels and it will hit you when your loading your car with groceries. You will sit in the car and think about who you were last week and the week before that and so on until you finally get to who you were ten year ago, and you will run your fingers through your hair. It will hit you when you’re pulling to the driveway and it will hit you when you put your favorite bag of chips in the pantry.  You will look around your kitchen and glance out the mini window above the sink to see the grass outside. It will hit you. It will hit you that this is your life and you are not the person you were. You are not screaming into your pillow at 1am hoping it will help the pain. You are not staring in the mirror picking out every flaw. You are not holding your stomach as you cry , trying to muffle the sobs.

Instead, you are shopping for new curtains and trying to figure out what pillows go best with your couch while his hand is wrapped on your shoulders and him giving you the forehead kisses from time to time and every time you look at him , you find him smiling and when you ask him why he is, he responds by saying you have sexy lips and his eye, his eyes I mean his eyes,  no camera could ever capture the look in his eyes and feeling in his heart when he looks at you, because this is your life now, and it will hit you. You made it and you will realize. airbrush_20190614152107-1360834428011729629.jpg

You now have someone who always thinks of you, he does. More than once or twice. Thinks about how you smile, what you said and  the things you did to keep his heart. Its you and always will be. You make him feel complete in ways nobody else can relate, because you love each other in your own individual way, it may not confirm to what society expects, hell you even dint know how to categorize it at first because this time, this time its different, this time you are home rebelling on each others flesh; and oh what a sensual uprising it is  and will continue to be, the best days of your life will be the once spent with him.. talking about life, laughing, making love and plans & a lifetime of memories .

But until then!

Choose you, choose you over and over again and over and over, without pause, without a doubt in a heartbeat keep choosing you
this time its

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